the old wise saying, when a door closes, a window always opens. i am finding that to be true. through this time of change, it has brought so many opportunities to reacquaint myself with some lost loves. to discover new longings and dreams. to explore and find new meaning. it is growing pains that i embrace.

goes a long way.

pork chops. shrimp. chicken. fish. oatmeal buttersquash cookies. strawberry rhubarb cobbler. i have been experimenting with spices and new foods. some say i am batting a thousand...we'll see how long it lasts.

I trust everyone. I just don't trust the devil inside them.

                                            ~Troy Kennedy-Martin, The Italian Job

things aren't always black and white. i am finding there are more gray areas than i thought. i don't pretend to know all the answers. it is part of the journey of life to be constantly humbled in the little knowledge and insight i gain.

the discovery is a beautiful mess.

open space. a volkswagen bus. a roadtrip is in my dreams...

i experienced life like never before. it was through my best friends sonogram and it was amazing. amazing to see the little one that is growing inside her. we saw the precious feet, hands, toes...we heard the heart beating strong. it is such a beautiful process to watch unfold.

there is comfort in being in the presence of ones that love you deeply. that know how to make you laugh when all you want to do is cry. that bring joy in the midst of sorrow. that show grace in times when you feel so disoriented. and provide unconditional love when that is all that is needed. 

i love you dearies.

for one one must dream of endless possibilities and have childlike faith that all is well. seek peace and walk in truth. 

ladies, you have aged so beautifully and with such grace. thanks for always making me laugh so hard i cry and for sharing your past mistakes and heartaches.

walk in peace.

You have to lose.
You have to learn how to die if you want to want to be alive.

-wilco

i find that many times i just come full circle. i think i have learned something only to find myself back to where i started. how does one break free of this cycle? maybe we are to constantly be humbled that we will never really have it together like we think we do. this blessed life is filled with the circles of pain, joy, and contentment. it is quite an exhilarating ride.

meeting. networking. these things fill my day. what does it mean to put yourself out there. to sell yourself. what do i have to offer others? i get so overwhelmed with the bigger picture that i fail in taking the baby steps which get me to the end result.

how is it possible at first taste you eat something you think is horrible and next time you have fallen in love?

there is something so appealing to me about the 1950s era. i love it. i love the way they dressed. i love the shoes. i love the design. the kitchenware. furniture. fabrics. i could go on and on. and though my obsession with this era can never become a reality, there is one hour every week that i can find a small glimpse of what it was like.

a simple fun night filled with bolts of lightening, the sounds of avett brothers in the distance, rum/root beer float, gran torino, street tacos, porch sitting, and listening to the pitter-patter of rain falling from the sky.

i am not an enabler. when i see someone i love that is struggling, i am not going to allow them to stay in that position. and sometimes the best thing to do is just sit and let them find there way back. in the meantime, i hope and wait patiently that they return before too much damage is done.

3 things i love all together in one picture. can you guess what they are?

stop and listen to the sounds that surround you daily. it is amazing what you will hear if you just listen.

how does one patiently wait for what is next while keep moving forward? how do i embrace the day and live in the present without feeling suffocated on the vastness of the unknown?

today i experienced a range of emotions but mostly i adored my beautiful friend emri and her mommy kerri.

when looking through glass i just want to see what is on the other side. but when looking through stained glass you only see the beauty of what lies in front of you. everything beyond it is too distorted that you never can see the full picture. so i have a choice to either revel in the beauty or be distracted by the distortation.

it is so easy to keep things bottled up. to hide from truth. i am learning how private i am but how important it is to embrace the love that surrounds me. i am overwhelmed by the support and grace that is shown to me daily.

a name. it is what you make of it on a daily basis that builds the brand behind it. i am making space to reflect. to see how i have built my brand. to being open to admitting my faults and accepting the things that i cannot change. to dream and try new things. and to never give up even when things look so unclear. 

today my world was spinning. the things that surround me are so blurry that i can only see the familiar with very little details.

when all else fails, just get up and dance.

two feet. two very different views. yet somehow one comes from the other. what drives me in life cannot have a price on it. money does not motivate but drives me to loneliness if ever in pursuit of it. i cheerish simplicity. i long for a quieter tomorrow and have endless dreams of what may seem like unattainable goals.

i am one that is often so focused on the bigger picture that at times i neglect the details. but it is usually within the details that i find the most beautiful treasures. oh that i may stop and appreciate the little details that make up my story.

there is nothing better than a lazy sunday. a day to stop and find rest. to let all the worries go and simply cuddle up in the park with a couple of good books. oh sunday how i love you.

oh my little shih tzu. you are one that constantly reveals how selfish i can be. it's easy to be so self consumed when things are unclear that i loose sight of the many beautiful things that surround me each day. things that are so vital to my growth and well being. thanks for helping me look beyond the trials that surround me daily.