i find words can be so limiting when one is trying to express all that they are experiencing.

let's be honest, i do not like christmas. first the season starts way too early. second it is so commercialized that it makes me want to puke. literally. third, you spend so much time juggling seeing family and friends that you are never really present anywhere you go. and last there is so much pressure to get the right gift for everybody. i am a huge gift giver and giving a forced gift overwhelms me. i find giving unexpected gifts is the best way to give.

all that to say, i found this year was different. i had a simple little christmas and found myself snowed in for most of it. it was relaxing and basically didn't even feel like christmas which i secretly loved.

last night i had my christmas date with my best friend lacey. while working with the artist to find a quote to use that best describes us, i found it to be impossible. everything sounded too cheesy. so all that to say is....lacey you are my best and dearest friend. you constantly show such compassion and grace. your presence makes my life richer. thank you for your unending love and support.

artwork is by cari williams. see more art from her here. thanks cari.

her greatest love of all was woodcarving. she was an extremely talented women and am so blessed to have her santas adorn my christmas tree every year.

One thing that I respect about my grandmother was that she was extremely disciplined and hardworking lady. She earned two dollars a week and split it in half by putting a dollar into savings and living of  the other. Because of her strict discipline she was able to save enough money to go to cosmetology school. right after she graduated she bought a styling salon in marquette, kansas. She ended up meeting and marrying my grandfather there and spent the rest of her days living in the little town of marquette.

one thing about my grandmother was she was extremely competitive. she loved to play games and she would never let anyone just win. she was highly competitive in nature and had absolutely no mercy even to a young child. she was in an "adopt a grade school kid" program where the kids would come and visit with the elderly once a week. well apparently grandma begged for a smarter kid because go fish and old maid were just not cutting it. i had recently taken up rummikub, one of her favorite games. I had been playing a lot in hopes that my first time playing with her I would blindside her and beat her. I never will get to play that game with her but I will carry on her tradition and adopt her competitive ways. :)

it is amazing some of the things we learn about someone after they are gone. case in point, my grandmother loved watermelon. she loved it so much that she would always eat so much her mouth was filled with sores the next day. and whenever she served it to the grandkids, she would always cut out the center because she wanted the best part all to herself. i guess we were too ignorant to know better.

this week i decided to blog about my grandmother who recently passed away. she was a beautiful woman who was a perfectionist and an extremely hardworker. two gifts that have been instilled in me.

you will be missed.

sometimes life is hard. the pain. the reality of death. the reality that life has to keep moving even in the midst of such a loss. but life continues. and it is still good. the possibilities and the opportunities are endless. i choose to keep moving forward. to give thanks to the life that was lived and now cherished to all who loved her.